The tone you set
I write about technological and social change. Each weekday, I send one note to help you make sense of and make the most of the world we face. If you need support on your career and leadership journey, join my network. You’ll instantly join our group chat, monthly live Q&As, monthly workshops, and private in-person events.
When I first took on a large team, I focused on systems and structure. Meetings were regular, reports were accurate, and objectives were clear. Yet the atmosphere was tense. People spoke cautiously, avoided challenge, and kept their ideas to themselves. I had not realised that my own urgency and intensity were creating that tone.
At the time, I thought being driven would motivate others. Instead, it made them defensive. My tone, even when unspoken, had become the emotional climate of the team.
I began to adjust. I slowed my language, asked more questions, and created space for disagreement. I stopped equating calmness with passivity. Over time, people relaxed. Meetings became more open, and decision-making improved. What changed was not the process but the atmosphere.
Tone defines culture. Teams learn from how leaders respond to bad news, uncertainty, or challenge. Every reaction teaches what is acceptable. A raised eyebrow can do more to close a conversation than any policy.
This principle matters even more today, when so much leadership happens through short calls and written messages. Without the context of tone, people interpret silence or brevity as distance. The leader’s job is to make clarity feel safe, not sharp.
How did today’s post land with you? Do you agree, disagree, or is there something I missed?
If you enjoyed this post, the best compliment I could receive would be if you shared it with others.
Join my network. You’ll instantly join our group chat, monthly live Q&As, monthly workshops, and private in-person events.